Possible Progress

My brother reported to me recently that he had taken a few days off and visited the same place as last year at the same time.  So he did the same walks along cliffs and beaches as last year.  And he found that he was far less fit than last year and couldn't do these same activities as easily (or at all).  But according to the hospital, his kidney function is still as good now as it was last year.

Now the kidney disease is the only thing wrong with him, so what's going on here? Why is he feeling worse when they say his condition has not changed?  They haven't given him an answer, but there is now a suggestion from his consultant that as his quality of life is reducing, perhaps he should be given the choice of electing to have the transplant sooner rather than later.   His eGFR is still hovering at or above the level where they would recommend the transplant but it seems that, in his case, they will accept the evidence of the reduced "quality of life" and ignore the eGFR figure.  So, we could be back at the starting gate, looking at a possible operation in about October this year, by the sounds of it. I'm trying not to get worked up over this - they have changed their mind before so, until their team meeting agrees, I won't make any plans.

I once did a parachute jump.  After training, I actually found it quite easy to get in the aircraft and we taxied out; I was committed and accepted the imminent event calmly.  The decision had already been made and I wasn't reconsidering at that stage, just like now.  Then at 2,000ft I waited my turn, and then did all the right things when the jump master shouted at me.  I think that was the military part of me, responding to training and not looking down as I stood at the exit from the aircraft.  In the same way, when I had my colonoscopy (see this entry), I just accepted the treatment and didn't worry at all about what these professionals were going to do to me, or the possible outcomes.

In any case, I think my approach is to take it as a decision made and look only at the practical issues.  Perhaps I should think of it as though I was the one who was ill? In that case I accept that it has to happen somewhen; then my military training clicks in, I ignore the personal thoughts and just do what is needed.